Funny Holiday Card: Ho, Ho, Ho-zempic

Welcome to the holidays, 2025 style — where half the guest list is on Ozempic, the other half is thinking about it, and everyone’s pretending they “just lost a little water weight.” The Ho-Zempic card is your sarcastic salute to the most talked-about trend of the decade.

This 4x6 chaos bomb is perfect for the people who whisper about side effects, brag about “mindful portions,” and suddenly have so much energy (until they don’t). Whether they’re on it, considering it, or loudly insisting they “would never,” this card hits them all with festive accuracy.

The luxe green envelope gives it that respectable holiday vibe — but the inside message absolutely does not. This is the card for the Ozempic Girlie, the GLP-1 Cowboy, the cousin who’s shrinking before your eyes, or literally anyone who checks their refill date more often than their advent calendar.

Give the people what they want: validation, laughter, and a gentle nudge that yes… we all know.

• Premium 4x6 holiday card with a rich green envelope
• Designed for everyone riding the Ozempic/Wegovy/Mounjaro wave
• Sharp, chaotic humor without crossing into “grandma will disown you” territory
• Printed on thick cardstock so it feels classy while the message is unhinged
• Perfect for Ozempic girlies, gym friends, wellness warriors, and trend followers
• Great for stockings, office swaps, group chats, and holiday interventions